


Bye Bye Baby

by HeroSavesPeople



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Asthma, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Death, Drowning, F/M, Haunting imagery, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, Romance, Suicidal Ideation, WA AU, Westallen AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 10:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18445100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeroSavesPeople/pseuds/HeroSavesPeople
Summary: Unable to cope with the death of his love, Barry visits the lake where they shared blissful memories and the one dreadful one that changed everything.Please do not read if any of the themes in the tags are disturbing or triggering to you.





	Bye Bye Baby

**Author's Note:**

> This is the darkest WA fic that I've written and have held off posting it for ages because of the themes. I put a warning in the summary, but I'll put one here too. Please do not proceed reading if any of the tagged themes are disturbing or triggering.
> 
> Song: Worry About You by Ivy

_Bye bye baby, don't be long_

_I worry about you_

_When you're gone_

 

He swims in the lake every night.

 

When he was nineteen and his whole world was flipped upside down, he began seeking refuge in the lake where it all happened. Everything. All the significant moments in his life, moments that took his breath away, happened at that lake. The good and the bad.

 

That was the first time he saw her.  After everything.

 

He had been dreaming about her, spending endless night crying himself to sleep and sobbing until he couldn't recognize himself. Eyes swollen, face blotchy, he had the face of someone he no longer recognized. He knew he had been scaring his parents, but there was nothing he could do. Nothing could ever heal him the way she could.

 

He dreamed of her lips, her scent, her deep brown skin that contrasted beautifully against his own. He would always marvel at her softness, letting his fingers glide over her skin before the need to feel more took over and his hands would flatten against her body.

 

He remembered the way she had breathlessly giggled the first time he kissed her neck, the first time he tentatively slid his hand under her blouse and then under her skirt. They had made love at that lake on her sixteenth birthday. They hadn’t planned it to happen that way, but when she looked at him with the moonlight shining in her eyes, he could see the love and he wanted nothing more than to get completely and utterly lost in her.

 

The moment it finally happened, it was as if they were tied in a way they hadn't been before. Their souls had been firmly intertwined and they knew that it was all written in the stars.  Barry and Iris. It had been predetermined that they were meant to be and that night, in the midst of soft gasps and shaky touches, they knew it in their racing hearts.   

 

She had been the yin to his yang, bringing light into his life the moment she stepped up and shoved his bully aside at the age of six. Barry had always been a shy and quiet boy, nose buried in a book while Iris was anything but. With the strength of an ox despite her tiny frame, she was a firecracker who didn't take shit from anyone and as they grew older, she taught him how to do the same.

 

Sometimes that was what he would think of in moments his mind descended into the darkness.  He would think how she was the kind of person he knew was destined for great things, the kind of person who could shake the world like she did his. Her compassionate soul and her passion for helping people was enough to make her beloved by not only their parents but anyone who was lucky enough to be in her presence.

 

So the day she fell from the bridge and drowned in the lake, was a day mourned by their small town.  Memorials and fundraising campaigns were made in her honor. The coroner had said that it appeared as though Iris was having an asthma attack when she fell from the bridge and into the lake. The cold, winter temperature had seemingly caused her to have difficulty breathing and because she didn't seem to have her inhaler with her, her body could no longer fight the mounting pressure on its own.

 

It was seven years later and still, he rode his bike there every night like clockwork.  He remained in the home where he grew up with her even after his parents moved closer to the city. They had been concerned for his well-being, but he had gotten good at hiding things from them. And besides, he was never more happy than he was with her and the only way was if he stayed.

 

So he remained in town, attending the local university as a double major in education and chemistry and when he graduated a year early, he immediately got a job as the local high school chemistry teacher.  He lead a nice life, with a job that paid him enough to eventually buy the house from his parents.

 

And every night, he got to see her.

 

It was only for a brief moment, but it was enough to sustain him.  It was enough to save him.

 

The first time he saw her after her death was the night he had woken from his nightmares of her.  It was another night where he had restlessly slipped into slumber with swollen eyes and tear-soaked pillows and saw her in his dreams. They were blissful at first before inevitably ending  the way it always did: watching her drown and being powerless to save to her. Desperately swimming toward her, his lungs burning, chest aching, but never, never reaching her in time. Every night he'd wake in a cold sweat, fresh tears in his eyes.   

 

It had been months of mourning before he couldn't take it anymore. He had risen from bed with a calm that came with a sense of resolve.  His decision was made: he was going to join her once and for all.

 

It was well past midnight and the night sky was inky black. Somehow the stars escaped his notice, but he had become blinded of anything good and remotely pure. After all, the one pure thing in his life was gone, the light snuffed out like a candle on a windy night.  

 

He had climbed up the bridge and stood there, staring into the deep, dark depths of the lake below as his hair blew in the wind. It was strange because he had refused to visit the bridge after he had found out she fell from there. What was once a sacred place was his hell, forever damned with the memory of her death.  But that night, he was at peace and he could have sworn he felt her near.

 

Eyes closed, he spread his arms wide and allowed himself to slowly tip over. He barely felt the splash of water or the hard impact it had upon his body. There was only calm, there was only peace. Soon he would be reunited with her.

 

Just as he began to lose his breath, his chest tightening, he opened his eyes…and there she was.

 

For the first time in months, his heart stuttered and came to life. Without thinking, he held his breath, not wanting to lose this moment that he was able to see her.

 

She was wearing the same outfit he had seen her in the morning of her death: a thick red and black plaid coat, a sweater dress, knee high socks paired with her knee high boots.  And the necklace he had given her for her thirteenth birthday. It floated toward him in the water and he waded closer to her. Closer until he was in her orbit and her hair floated around her head and touched his face.

 

The slow _thump thump thump_ in his chest matched the hard pulse in his ears as his hand reached over to first brush against the locket before slowly, oh so slowly that it almost ached, he touched her face.  Air bubbles escaped his lips with his gasp, his eyes wide.

 

She was really there. He traced her cheeks before gliding down to her smiling lips and Barry could have cried at that moment. Too stunned and entranced by her, he didn't realize he was losing oxygen but suddenly he finds himself breaking the surface of the water, gasping for air.

 

He looked around wildly, his heart galloping in his chest painfully as he fought to catch his breath.

 

"Iris?  Iris!"

 

He called out to her, but there was no response.  He looked down at the lake and deep into the darkness, he caught a glimpse of her.  He tried to swim down to reach her but something was keeping him above the surface.

 

"Iris," he cried desperately, no longer able to see her. "Iris!"

 

He didn't know how long he was there in the water, calling out her name before he decided he wasn't giving up on her. He would never give up on her.

 

And so he returned the next night.  Then the next.

 

It wasn’t long until he realized he could communicate with her through his thoughts. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know how, but all that mattered was she was there with him. He'd sit by the bank of the lake and tell her about his day, the crazy things some kids at the high school would get up to, the dance he was forced to volunteer for, the time a colleague tried to set him up with a somone. He had laughed at that as if he could ever look at another girl after Iris. There was never a chance of anyone capturing his heart the way she did. She never really replied to his words, but he knew in his heart what she'd say, saw the words in her eyes, in her smiling lips. And it was enough.

 

But then one night when he biked to the lake, he wasn't alone.

 

Police cruisers were lined up along the bridge, with yellow tape barricading him from approaching further. His heart thumped in his chest, wondering what was going on. He needed to see Iris.

 

He scrambled off his bike and unceremoniously let it fall to the ground as he rushed toward the yellow tape. He ducked under it expecting to be stopped by a police officer, but no one approached. He continued onward, weaving around the cruisers before finally stopping in front of an officer who looked to be taking the lead.

 

"Officer, what's going on?"  He looked around as he asked, watching as an ambulance approached.

 

"We need EMTs down below!" the officer said, gesturing at the ambulance. "The Doe is down there. Get him on the stretcher and we'll pull him up."

 

Someone was down there? Barry turned back to look at the officer who was looking at him but didn't appear to register his presence. Barry waved his hand in front of her.  "Ma'am?"

 

But she said nothing as she walked past him and stopped at the bridge looking down. He followed behind and looked down to see what she was looking at.

 

The sight before him stole his breath as he watched the lake surrounded by police tape, EMTs milling about as some waded into the lake. But what caught his breath was the body that was floating at the surface.

 

It was a dark night and normally he would have had a hard time making out anything from his vantage point, but the floodlights that were set up near the river, made everything clear as day. He could see the errant foliage just under the surface of the lake, the rocks the lined the shores…his own vacant eyes looking back him.

 

He let out a muffled scream and stumbled back. His heart thudded in his chest and he felt like he was losing oxygen quickly, water suddenly filling his lungs. He looked at the officer beside him, but she paid him no mind.  

 

"H-hello?"  He reached over and tried to touch her shoulder, but she didn’t turn his way, not even a flinch.

 

He took one last look at his own body down below and took a slow step backward and then another. Where was he? What was this?

 

He ran back toward his bike, ducking under the yellow tape once more. He had to go somewhere.  Somewhere he could get answers. Maybe if he went down to the lake, Iris would be there, she would know.

 

But he didn't need to go any further because as he made it back to his bike, she was there, waiting for him.

 

He exhaled sharply, looking at her in wonder before the pieces started coming together.  An elated laugh escaped his lips, tinged with awe.

 

"Iris!"

 

She was still in the same clothes as she always was in, but this time dry as ever.  But her face was not happy to see him, the always-present smile was absent from her lips. She sighed, looking at him sadly. 

 

"You weren't supposed to be here.  It wasn't supposed to be your time."

 

Barry was still reeling from the revelation and looked back at her with wide eyes. Realization dawned upon him and he slowly relaxed, a calm spreading through him. Peace. He was finally at peace. 

 

"But I'm here now.  We can be together again."

 

He raced toward her, winding his arms around her waist and lifting her off the ground. He laughed in excitement, feeling so whole—more than he had in such a long time and there wasn't anything in the world that could compare.

 

When he settled her back down to the ground, he expected her to be beaming at him in equal excitement, but instead, there were tears running down her cheeks.

 

"Wha-what is it, Iris? Why are you sad?"

 

"Barry, you weren't supposed to die!"

 

He frowns, his brows knitting. "But, it doesn't matter," he breathed, not comprehending why she was so upset. "You weren't supposed to die either.  It was _not_ your time!"

 

Frustration seeped into his words as she continued to look at him forlornly. He gripped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. 

 

"Please, Iris, please. Just be happy with me. I've been waiting for you."

 

"You were supposed to live,"  she whispered. “I was trying to keep you alive.”

 

"I did—"

 

"You didn't. You survived just long enough to see me. I knew it was the only way I could keep you safe, keep you alive. But I was too late this time."

 

He spread his fingers until he was cupping the back of her head. "Hey, it doesn't matter, ok? We're together now and nothing can keep us apart anymore."

 

She looked at him, still perturbed but nodded anyway. "Ok," she finally whispered.

 

"Ok?" he smiled, relieved she saw it his way.

 

Her returning smile was tremulous, but still, it was there. "It's not ok. This isn't what I wanted for you... but this is where we are."

 

"This is where we are. Together."

 

He kissed her then, unable to wait any longer, inhaling sharply even though he no longer needed his breath. He felt her arms come around him, wrapping around his shoulders as his own pressed her closer. 

 

"I've missed you so much," he whispered against her lips, sliding his mouth to caress her jaw.

 

"I've missed you too. I love you, Barry."

 

And with those words, he felt his soul finally at peace. She was there in his arms at long last and he would never let go. She pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. "It’s time to go now."

 

"Where are we going?"

 

"Home."

 

 

_I'll think of you in my dreams_

_You'll never know just what you mean to me_

_To me_


End file.
